So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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