If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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