Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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