Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
