Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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