69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
