Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
either way he was missing a nipple.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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