I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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