What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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