I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
