I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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