So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
