he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
