My brain says no but my pants say off.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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