The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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