i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
you never un-have a 4some
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
