that's an acceptable place to lick
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
