you would pick up someone in the library
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
