My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
