I wanna passion pit in your ass
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
