You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
