At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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