I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize