I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
