I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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