I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
