I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
