But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Randomize
