hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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