He had one of those small greek statue penises
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You can't just leave with hair like that
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
