Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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