I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize