glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
