Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
