So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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