yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
