Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
