This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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