Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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