Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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