This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
