I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
