Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
