FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
