Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
