From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
