no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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