everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
