Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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