it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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