I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
