i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
