Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i think i just lost a toe
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
