just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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