as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
