i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
